The headless horseman stopped in front of a small building. A brisk autumn wind whistled through the eyes carved in the pumpkin set atop his shoulders. He checked the address, and confirmed he was at the location of the emergency meeting. He dismounted from his steed and tied the animal to a light post. The headless horsemen entered the building and stood in a large meeting hall He walked between two columns of folding chairs to the front of the room. There two tables stood one with pamphlets, the other with a TV and DVD player that faced the chairs. The headless horseman took off his pumpkin head and placed it on a table so it faced the TV and DVD player. The remainder of the body collapsed to the floor.
The witch showed up and leaned her broom against the wall before taking her seat. The vampire appeared next, but he stayed in his bat form. The mummy stomped in a little later and leaned against the wall. One after another monster after monster came and took their seats, Frankenstein, the skeleton, the ghost, the goblin, and many more. Soon the meeting hall was filled with all of Halloween's characters talking, moaning, and grabbing at each other. In the midst of the chatter, the vampire transformed into his human like form and with a stately gait stepped to the front of the room. He adjusted his cape and loudly cleared his throat to get the attention of the room. When the commotion had settled down somewhat, the vampire spoke.
"My fellow monster and creatures of the night, I know it is Halloween night, but we've gathered this evening to discuss a grave danger to us all. I know many of us do not get along. There are those of you that hate even me."
The werewolf howled in agreement, but the vampire just cleared his throat and continued.
"But on this night, we cohabitate peacefully. On this we are not just welcome, but we are celebrated. On this night our talents of fright are imitated, this night, Halloween."
The monsters and ghouls responded with howls, cackles, and, bumps of celebration.
"But there is a force that is trying to take this night away from us."
This statement produced an onslaught of laughter. The zombie slapped his knee with a hand he'd been snacking. The whole room agreed that the thought of some force taking over Halloween was rather hilarious, but the vampire continued undeterred.
"This force is Christmas, and it is led by the all powerful omniscient Santa Claus."
The noise silenced, and the monsters gave the vampire their full attention. Something under the bed even stirred. Christmas and Santa were nothing to take lightly.
"What's Santa want with us? He gets December, and our little night is a month away,” the skeleton asked.
The other monsters and ghouls agreed with this sentiment.
The vampire continued. "Yes, that is a fine point, but apparently Santa's power over December has only wetted his appetite for more. He stretched his empire into the end of November. Then this happened."
The vampire turned on the TV that fronted the room and clicked play on the DVD player.
After a moment, a scene started to play out on the television. Hundreds of turkeys walked around in a pen. They were quite nice looking for turkeys, all round and plump with fine Turkey features and colors. They pranced and strutted around their pen as they gobbled amongst themselves.
The camera panned over to a group of people sitting at a table. One half of the table was dressed like pilgrims with the men in black and white clothes, buckled top hats, and buckled shoes and the women wearing white dresses and bonnets. The other half was dressed like Indians. (Though we now call them Native Americans.) This side was adjourned in animal skins and moccasins with feathers sticking out from their heads. On the table, a feast was spread. There was corn, potatoes, pumpkins, gourds, and pies, but the center piece of the meal was a golden brown plump juicy Turkey. All of this was surrounded by a forest decorated by orange and yellow leaves that carpeted the ground. The whole scene played out like a perfect Thanksgiving.
Suddenly the cooked Turkey exploded into several pieces. Immediately the pilgrims started loading their muskets, and the Indians readied their bow and arrows. Several reindeer, mounted by flamethrower armed elves, rose above the trees, and they swooped down towards the turkeys. The Indians were able to fire off a few arrows, but the reindeer were too swift and agile, within seconds the turkeys were bathed in flames until they were nothing but charcoal black imitations of the bird that had been featured at the feast.
Then there was silence. The pilgrims had finally finished loading their muskets, and they searched for something to shoot. The Indian braves peered through the tree looking ever alert, but there was nothing.
A booming laugh and its echoes filled the landscape.
"HO HO HO"
The Indians and pilgrims searched all around, but it was impossible to tell where the laughter came from.
"Papa, it's a bright red flame," said a small boy.
Everyone on screen and the camera turned toward the direction the boy pointed. A blinding red light made it almost impossible to see, and before anyone could adjust, a plump old man with a white beard riding a red nosed reindeer was upon them. The pilgrims and Indians tried to defend themselves, but it was to no avail. The red nosed reindeer dodged each burst of buckshot and arrow, and Santa surgically eliminated each Thanksgiving character with a high powered rifle. Within moments the pilgrims and Indians lay dead on the ground and across the table in the feast.
Rudolph landed amongst the bodies, and Santa dismounted his head reindeer. He surveyed the carnage kicking at a few bodies, and the other elves and reindeer landed in a sort of circle around him. They watched as Santa climbed on the table, looked around, and waved his arm over his head in a wide circular motion. In a flash the entire landscape was blanketed with snow, and the once colorful trees transformed into evergreens.
The last thing the creatures of Halloween heard before the vampire stopped the video was the elves shouting, "Christmas forever!"
The monsters were silent for a moment. Then the mummy's moan interrupted the tension.
"We've got magic too," the witch said. "Let them attack. What I concoct with my brew will push them back."
The other monsters made noises of agreement that grew with their confidence. The vampire banged his hands on the table to capture the room's attention again.
"It is true, we are powerful," he said.
The monsters erupted in applause, and the mummy moaned.
"But, so is our adversary," the vampire continued. "We must be ever ready for an attack."
The mummy moaned again.
The vampire rolled his eyes and started to continue, but he was interrupted.
"Ho. Ho. Ho."
Monsters sprang to action looking for the evil man in red, Santa. The witch whistled, and her broom flew to her. The pumpkin head bounced toward its body.
The vampire was on the verge of turning back to a bat when he realized the attack had not come. He raised his hand to quiet the crowd. The mummy's outstretched arms pointed towards a window freshly adorned with a Christmas wreath. The monsters moved to the next window, but it had been tagged with a wreath too. This was clearly a Christmas spirit attack. The monster looked around the room, but there was nothing. Something outside flickered off and on playing with the shadows on the wall. The windows were bordered with Christmas lights.
The werewolf howled, and the zombie bit at the other monsters in an attempt to keep the warm fuzzy feeling of Christmas joy from choking the fright from their beings.
A doorbell chimed, and the monsters jumped. The vampire walked over to the door. All of the monsters knew the meeting hall wasn't equipped with a doorbell, but they stayed silent. The vampire slowly opened the door to reveal a trio of children dressed in snow covered winter clothes down to hand knitted scarves and mittens. The smallest child, a little girl with pigtails, even wore earmuffs. The cuteness confused the monsters, and when they realized they'd sprung a Christmas trap it was too late. The children broke out in perfectly adorable out of tune caroling that collapsed the monsters to their knees with their hands clasped over their ears howling and moaning. All would have been lost, but the flying broom whisked the witch away, and it dropped her in a far corner safe from the noise and sped away, only to return a moment later with the mummy, who of course moaned.
"He's no help in times of trouble," the witch said to the broom. "Get me someone else on the double."
The broom floated up horizontally, but instead of taking off, it used its handle to rip off the bandages covering the mummy's mouth.
"Ohhhhh. . . Why thank you kind sir," the mummy said to the broom. I am already eternally in your debt for releasing me from the bonds that hindered my speech, but I am still in dire need of your assistance."
The witch stared with her mouth open, but the broom snapped to attention with its bristles planted on the ground and its handle sticking straight. The mummy nodded to the broom, and widened his stance a little. The broom rose up a few inches then zipped between the mummy's legs and rose up, but with the mummy's body still stiffened by bandage, he started to tip over. The broom lowered the mummy back to the floor.
The mummy turned to the still stunned witch. "Ma'am, I will need your support to stay balanced."
He pointed to the back of the broom and the witch hopped on and grabbed the mummy's shoulders.
When both riders were secure, the broom zipped towards the door, the other monsters, who were fading fast, and the carolers. When the broom reached the singing children, it slapped them silly with its bristles, and the witch slammed the door shut.
In an instant the broom, mummy, and witch were hovering over a quaint Norman Rockwellish town in the middle of the holiday season.
"It’s Halloween night. I fear we've lost the fight," said the witch.
"I know the situation looks dire," said the mummy. "But I have devised a plan that just may. Broom, we need to find the sleeping locales of this town's children."
Back at the meeting hall, the carolers rang the doorbell over and over, but the monsters there would not open the door. They were crammed against the wall on the opposite side of the room.
"What is wrong with you things?"
The monsters frantically scanned the room, but no one saw where the question came from.
"Who said that?" The vampire asked.
"I did."
The monsters turned their eyes to the bed, and for the first time in centuries, Something under the bed crawled from beneath the bed. Most of the monsters had never seen it, and they were taken aback by the tiny mushroom shaped monster with arms and legs only a few inches long that appeared to be covered in bright red shag carpeting.
“You’re freaking monsters. I mean you literally eat kids like the ones out there for lunch or a midnight snack depending on circumstances.”
The other monsters started to protest, but Something marched to the door. His little arm grew out and stretched to the door knob. The werewolf howled in anticipation of the torture to come. Something pulled the door open, but before the kids could break out in melody again, his mouth spread open like his arm had grew and he swallowed one of the children. At first everyone and everything just sort of looked at each other. Then the monsters attacked. They turned, sucked, ate tore apart each of the annoying little kids.
After the mayhem was over and no unturned kids stood, the monsters let out a sigh of relief. Something closed the door and headed back under his bed.
The monsters bragged, howled, moaned, and made all sorts of other noises about the massacre that had just occurred. They were debating and deciding not one of them had really ever been scared, when the doorbell rang again. This time the monsters fell over each other to be the first to answer it. The goblin got there first and yanked it open ready to attack, but there were no children it was Santa and a mob of elves. The monsters stepped back, and Santa and his elves stepped in the room. The two groups stared each other down. Neither side dared blink. Then Santa broke the silence.
“This is foolish. We’ve won. Take a look outside.”
The monsters headed to the windows and looked outside to see the snow covered streets, candy cane decorated light posts, and Christmas lights strung up everywhere.
“But it’s Halloween,” said the zombie.
“Not any more. Ho! Ho! Ho! No longer will you have your night of tricks or treats, such a selfish night. Soon peace on Earth and goodwill towards men will rule all year round.”
The monsters’ faces and bodies sunk in defeat.
“We’ve lost our night,” the vampire said.
He transformed to a bat ready to fly off then the doorbell rang.
“Oh joy, more carolers,” Santa said.
He motioned an elf to open the door, and the monster sank toward the back of the room. The open door was filled with three kids, but they were dressed like a turtle, a princess, and a wizard. Before Santa could say a word, all three kids blustered out.
“Trick or Treat!”
An elf slammed the door closed.
“I guess we can’t reach every child,” said Santa. “But rest assured this night is mine, now.”
The doorbell rang again. This time Santa opened it to find a find a brown paper bag on fire. He started stamping out the fire and had already stomped several times before realizing the bag was filled with dog poo. The monsters howled with laughter, and another set of costumed children stepped up to give the option of trick or treat. Santa and the elves stepped back, and the kids stepped in the room. They were followed by more kids and more kids and more kids.
Soon the room was filled with children chanting “trick or treat” over and over.
“Enough!” Santa said. If you all want to play this game, fine, I’ll put you all on my naughty list.”
“And that, my worthy adversary, is why you will never take over Halloween,” the mummy said as he stepped into the door way with the witch and broom.
Christmas and Halloween characters turned towards him as he continued.
“At first this battle seemed hopeless, but after we explained to the children that they'd have to be good from October through December and maybe longer to get of presents they may not want, it became quite evident that the world still needs Halloween. Of course, the lure of free candy was very beneficial too.”
The monsters and children took a step towards Santa and his elves who took a step back. Santa and the elves leaped through the windows and took off running through the streets, and the monsters and children laughed till they fell over.
After the laughter was over, one of the children called everyone to a broken window. The night was now dark minus a full moon, and jack o’ lanterns decorated porches everywhere. The monsters were so overjoyed they let the children go, and the witch gave each one a candied apple for a treat.
Of course, the next morning all the children woke up as frogs, for the apples were cursed.
